So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. (James 3:5-12 ESV)
Where to start? Apologizing, regretting? I guess I'm going to go by praying that the Lord use my foolishness to warn others. What is wrong with my tongue? Is a question that often has made me lose my sleep and to be honest lead to a secret depression. I don't confess this for the sake of you feeling sad of me but you can see how painful this is. One of the greatest challenges in my life which I face is my tongue, and I dare to say this is a today's church serious problem. When we talk about purity we often related to just sexual purity or sexual disciplines which are not wrong. But what we don't realize is that there is other kind of actions that stains the purity of the church. This is gossiping, now gossiping is not just talking negatively of other people but is as well spread unnecessary information that often is true.
My case is not just being participate of gossiping but of being a receptor of them, the amount of things that I know are sometimes unhealthy. Why? Because this makes you look at people with other eyes. I won't deny this, there are things that must be told in order to be cautious of certain things in people, as persistent sin, or unhealthy behavior, things of which we can do nothing, but pray for it. Always looking this people with eyes of love, grace and mercy standing in our position giving them a chance of repentance and acceptance that will follow. But there is things that affects peoples relationships, and interactions. Things that can start a little fire but at the end becomes a hell of fire, things that you heard that will make you think unnecessarily of other people.
First, be cautious of hearing bad commentaries about friends- if you have a good relationship with someone don't let the first thing that people tells you about it change your view about them. Pray a lot for them, and look at their lives and see if this commentary match with the lifestyle of this person. Let us not forget that gossiping are not always truths but misconceptions that create bad concepts of people. The danger of assumption may hurt, mutilate and burn the body of love for the sake of selfishnes. If this happens to be true, pray about confront this person or maybe talk to someone older that confronts them, seeking their repentance in love.
Second, measure their maturity- this is a tricky one, for that define what maturity is according to what the scripture says and seeking for godly counsel (preferably older people). Sometimes the things you hear from people is a display of their lack of maturity, their lack of self control makes them say things that they ought not to. Pray that God gives them maturity to be in a stage where confrontation will beedifying for them.
Third, be careful who knows things - there is nothing wrong in keeping secrets with friends, but if your friends are immature is better for you to not say anything to anybody rather than things about you end in wrong hands, be careful because there is people who will say things about you in order to get attention. That happened to me and I think this person have no problem with doing the same over and over in order to gain attention.
Fourth, test the spirits- sometimes information comes to our ears so we can be praying or be a tool of edification to others, but sometimes it comes as a slaughter to others. It may be that we have to be careful with a kind of behavior in others who are not willing to submit to discipline or listen to godly counsel. Whatever this is, test the spirits, what is the outcome of this situation. Also this can be done by looking at the lives of the people, are they leading me to Christ or leading me to worldly things ?
Fifth, Love, Godliness and Holiness- increase the image of Christ in our lives is the purpose of sanctification, any deviation of this is wicked and ungodly. May what we hear of others don't change our reponse of love. Being gentle, humble and loving, but let us not ignore that sometimes there will be cases in which our interaction will change and we will need to be less open with others but let us not forget of praying for them, being educated before them and praying that they get help from someone more mature than them.
Sixth, God is able- whatever it is, if it is truth. Trust God for the situation, if it will change it will be because God is working and He will do a miracle in that situation. Yes humans fail, but don't diminish the power of God on His creation. He is able to change them and to make them fruitful.
I must confess that I did put in question the character of friends out of gossiping, and I regret it. For some reason some of them still love me and I'm grateful of God for that. Others keep their distance, but I pray that God gives them faithful friends that can makes them happy. Be possitive in talking about others, I have not been the best example of this but please do it. And if there is something negative, seek their edification, don't just get stuck with the negativity.
May the Lord bless you
Love hall
Edher
